Indian Samurai इंडियन सामुराई

…it's not gone yet: there was some election going on in Mumbai. The following Tuesday, it's gone, I'll have by Saturday. Saturday comes, nothing. This happened twice before I asked my favorite Indian to call the guy and lawyer him. The guy got (apparently) a little scared. Though he kept on refusing to write any mail and kept on denying that he ever told me that the company had a policy to refund if the delivery did not happen within 30 days.

A week later, on a Monday, he told me he was changing the transporter and would send the sofa-bed on the next day. I had already sent an email with my bank details for a refund. The next day, at 9 PM he calls me super proud of himself: he had personally made sure that the sofa was loaded.

On Friday I get a tracking number and a phone number. I call. Wrong number. I inform the sofa guy. He calls me back two hours later. He starts right away: "please, let me speak." Fine. "The sofa you ordered is a new product and it had manufacturing defaults. The foot is misdirected. I got lots of sofas sent back to me and I lost a lot of money. Basically, I preferred not to send you a defective product. So it will leave next Tuesday! "
Are you finished? Can I talk?          
ARE YOU FUCKING MAD??? NOT ONLY DID YOU MAKE ME WAIT FOR ONE MONTH PROMISING TO SEND IT EVERY WEEK, BUT YOU GAVE ME A TRACKING NUMBER FOR SOMETHING YOU HAVE NOT SENT?? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY??? SO NOW YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF AND YOU ARE GOING TO PAY ME BACK THIS VERY MINUTE. OTHERWISE I WILL SEND YOU MY LAWYER AND THE WHOLE SUPREME COURT. AND I AM NOT KIDDING FOR FUCK SAKE.             
Yes, I yelled all that, and even worse. I had not yelled like this since the story of my Rajasthani statues’ delivery…

Apparently he sent the check on Monday. I’ll check next week.              

But the story does not end there ...
We were now Saturday and only three days before my mother’s arrival...           

I frantically looked for a store in Delhi (online). I finally found something. I called. It was closed but they would open on Sunday at 11am. Before leaving, on Sunday, I called to confirm that it would be open. I go all the way (more than 20 kilometers) in a rickshaw to East Delhi. The rickshaw driver is planning to let me go find the place by myself. He stops and tells me to go in an alley (where supposedly he can not enter) but I do not hear it that way. I force him to locate the shop, to call the owner. We drive through pretty shabby alleys. And we find the shop. Closed. And there, no no no no no, I don’t get pissed off. I call. The guy is coming. A tall bald guy in a white kurta and with funky glasses.              
He starts by pouring some kind of oil on the locks. Well maybe it’s rusty? Oh no, now he is bowing in front of the main door... Then he tells me the story: his father has just passed away and they open after the three days of ceremonials (before, it would be auspicious). Right.               
The Japanese futon that I've seen online is dreadful and I'm not talking about its mattress ...      
A tea and a discussion about yoga later, I buy a foam sofa that will do just well!

This kind (but with a different cover):  

 Of course the fabric I selected is not available and it will take at least one more week. But that’s peanuts…      

PFFFFIOU ...