Indian Samurai इंडियन सामुराई

We know that women are capable of doing several things at the same time... Useful but sometimes catastrophic – okay you do several things at the same time but do you do any well?

To cut it short, the other morning I was brushing my teeth when I saw an ant running on the wall. It had been several days that these bitches had been teasing me... And I could have considered a peaceful coexistence, but one of them happened to bite my butt while I was peeing... That was it!

So I stretched my left arm (with the end not holding the toothbrush) to smash the ant. Not only did I miss it but I knocked my bottle of perfume down and it broke the sink into pieces...

Good. A nice way to start the day!

I gave in to my MacGyver instincts and bought super glue. The guy gave me a special one, waterproof. I emptied a tube on one of the pieces of ceramic. The smell was horrendous, and it did not stick! I took another tube and realized that the cap had a different colour. So I eventually read the instructions – I realise I have a problem with manuals, that's probably why I had so much trouble with mathematics, too much effort to read all the facts...To get back to my gluing exploits, I realised there was the resin and the hardener. And this isn't even gibberish to me: I have worked for two years in the epoxy business!

I cut myself 3-4 times by trying to mend the pieces of the broken sink. I almost glued myself to the sink and I ended up really high because of the glue smell. It was time I gave up... No shame in it!

 

I am lucky enough to live in a country with so many people that there is always someone to help with anything. I considered for a while going and buying a new sink myself but I resisted the urge and called the electrician. Yes yes. This guy had the intelligence to add, after repairing my sockets, that if I needed anything, plumbing etc., I could call him. So he came home, took measurements, came back with a sink of a different colour, went to look for another one, came back with his plumber friend and I got a brand new sink installed!

 

Everything ended up well! And even better! The smell of the glue made the ants flee! Too good to be true...

One good thing when you live in a developping country like India is that it is easy to find labor and that is cheap (between 50 to 150 rs for a plumber – 1 to 3€).

One bad thing is that this labor is not necessary skilled and they can cause quite a bit of damage (I remember for instance the guy who left gross finger stains on my freshly painted wall while drilling a hole to put up the TV…).

 

How to find a painter in India??

Like to find any labor, the easiest way is to ask around (colleagues, friends, neighbors). But if you don’t want the whole world (including your landlord – the less he knows, the better) to know that you have started some painting work, just ask the guy who sells paint. Easy no??

 

How to find a plumber in India??

Probably the above technique also works (asking a hardware shop). Otherwise, there is THE thing: just find the key guy (the guy who makes key doubles on the street). Somehow they always know a plumber…

 

How to find an electrician in India??

I have not needed one so far… Yeah, I prefer to look like a complete alien, walking in the streets with my broken neon light (to change it). But Indian flats might require (frequently) some heavy electrician work to be done. Asking the watchman of your building might be the safest option…

 

How to find a doctor in India??

For everyday problems, the hospital is a good option. On top of it, you always have funny stories to tell afterwards. For bigger problems, you might wanna activate your foreign network…

 

How to mow the grass in India??

With cisors, why??