Indian Samurai इंडियन सामुराई

Well, not so easy easy to adapt to be honest... Be it only because of the climate and the wildlife.

For example from May to June it was hot. So hot even the mosquitoes did not survive here, and it was nice! At nearly fifty degrees, you are at high risk of liquefaction, at least of your brain. Even the pool water becomes too hot. One or two sandstorms to spice up everything and give a little fun to the cleaning lady, as the house is apparently completely permeable to dust. From time to time we can spot a snake looking for water, possibly in the pool, even he is hot the poor thing...

End of June – beginning of July there were ups and downs, and a little rain. Just enough for flies to hatch. Quite a nuisance these flies. Obviously, when it gets hot the AC guy comes by to check that everything works well in the office. And as everything works well, he decides to be a bit zealous and loosen some valves. Following which he creates a water damage and flees the crime scene, letting water flowing from the ceiling cheerfully. How nice was it, all of us sweat profusely in the office during the following week!

And then mid-July it began to rain a little more, almost once a week. Just enough for mosquitoes to resuscitate this time! And at the end of the month, a day or two of heavy rains destroyed a lot of infrastructure – well, they forgot to put a drainage system when they built the city so I don’t get how everybody got so surprised by the flooded roads – and left Gurgaon stranded for almost an entire night (cf below what the poor rich of my society had to go through, tough life!). And gave life back to the... ants! Yes yes! So at the moment there is a waltz of flies, mosquitoes and ants. And the temperatures are quite pleasant (minus the humidity otherwise it would be too much happiness).

Apart from all these summer, climate and entomological considerations, life isn't so bad in our big quite house. What is a little painful is that nothing is at a walkable distance. But hey, we can’t have everything!

It’s Monday night. I haven’t eaten the whole day, too busy “closing” things at work (actually you never close anything but nevermind...). Luckily (smartly?) I have packed the bags the past weekend – it’s crazy how complicated it can get to travel with a baby, starting with checking whether winter clothes fit and finishing with folding the portable cot!

Now it’s 7:30 PM, Baby Samurai is asleep, the nanny on the train, the husband in the taxi, and I’m putting a final touch to packing (with a special focus on food). And suddenly I hear the baby call for me. And as soon as I lift him up he vomits on me profusely. His first vomit ever in 16 months, we are both stunned... Unable to take a step without walking on puke, I have no idea what to do. So I first clean him up, put him back to sleep, wash the floor then myself and get back to the luggage. I lost my appetite. And then he pukes again. I wash him again, he seems to feel better, and I am still running around in my underwear. I’ll take a shower at the last minute, you never know.

It’s 10 PM. I have to shampoo the cat. Some would argue that the time may not be perfect but I have to help the poor animal to get rid of his special guest (some kind of ringworm) and I could not find any other time!

10:30. The taxi is downstairs. I grab Baby Samurai to put some clothes and he barfs again, all over me, again. One more shower and we’re off!

And he empties his stomach again in the car, what nightmare! The 8-hour flight to Europe promises to be very long...

I notice that we are on a flyover, on the highway and there is traffic which is very unusual at this time of the day (or rather night) and also there are lines of trucks parked on the side. What the hell is going on? Suddenly two men bang the car, intimate my driver to lower his window, pluck his mouth/cheeks, strangle him with his seat belt. All this while I’m screaming to leave him alone, my baby is sick and I have a flight to catch; they ignore me superbly and eject the driver from the car, taking him away. And then nothing. After five minutes I call my husband and then I just blow a fuse. Total panic. I have in the background the horrifying stories of colleagues of friends gunned up at Gurgaon tollbooth – stories I never pay attention to but they obviously enter by one ear and don’t leave by the other. So fuck it. I get out of the taxi, covered in vomit, baby in my arms and start yelling on the truck drivers, demanding that my driver is given back to me. They seem to have no idea what is happening, well done in pretending they are not part of this hold-up!

A car stops, and then another, and another. A man in each vehicle. All come out and ask me “What is wrong Madam?” “What is going on?” Half sobbing half screaming I explain that my driver has been abducted. And they find him immediately, kept captive in a van just behind our car. He takes his seat and we hit the road again. No thank you for the rescue! And I have get the end of the story. What were these trucks doing there? Why this jam in the middle of the night? Why did these two men in civilian attire assaulted my driver?*

I arrive at the counter of the airline, stinking and still dripping with tears. I must look awful and out of place, especially at the business counter. And guess what? While things could hardly get worse, I can’t find my passport. Well actually I do. And then? Lufthansa just upgrade my husband. They could not have chosen a better time to do it I swear...And baby slept almost all through!

* I just found out, about two weeks after the event that there is a possibility that the trucks were parked there to wait for the opening of the toll between Gurgaon and Delhi which takes place at midnight. And that this racket is institutionalized for taxi drivers who do not pay the toll. So maybe I wasn’t after all in the heart of coup being fomenting a or a revolution or any other uprising – which have become quite common these days with the Jats protesting regularly (see this article). Pfff... I lost it for no reason!

If you are a foreigner holding an employment visa and working in Gurgaon, this message is for you!

How to get your registration in 4 steps (and only one trip).

First of all you need to know that you have to register yourself, within 15 days of arrival. If not you may (or may not) have to pay a fine.

To register yourself, you need to go to Mini-Secretariat near Rajiv Chowk, in Gurgaon. Go there early. It opens a 9:30 and they take papers up till 1 PM but you may want to be there at 9. But be careful, don’t go just like that!

1. Go on this website and fill up the form: http://indianfrro.gov.in/frro/

Have the following documents ready for upload (when you finish with the form):

• Photo
• Lease agreement (or any address proof)
• Visa
• Passport
• Contract, letter of employment (stating the date of starting and finishing – so you need to add one letter with these dates in case your contract does not have an end)
• Request letter on letter head: Request letter.doc
  
• Undertaking letter on letter head: Undertaking.docx
  

2. Then you will get an appointment and you need to go on that day (or any later day) (yourself) with:

• 2 prints of the form
• 2 sets of all the above mentioned documents
• 4 photographs (as per their specifications)
• PLUS these 2 certificates (of monthly: MONTHLY SALARY CERTIFICATE .pdf and yearly salary breakup: ANNUAL SALARY CERTIFICATE_0.pdf)
  

3. Once you are there, they will tell you to make a payment (I had to pay 1,990 rupees).

Now here is how you make the payment: 

Practically, you go out of the building, ask for an internet café, cross the ward where all the lawyers sit, get to the internet café, make a payment online (insist if he says it is not possible), print a challan and go back to the FRRO office. Alternatively, you can run around like a mad chicken, go to a State Bank of India with your challan, only to realise you don’t have to. Unless you do a cash payment.

4. Once you are back in the FRRO you show your papers to the guy. Then to another guy. Then back to the first guy to get a token number. Then wait. Then give your papers, sign and give to the second guy to sign. And get the hell out of there! (And carry this document whenever you travel abroad).