Indian Samurai इंडियन सामुराई

Today, Monday August 28, most of Gurgaon schools are closed. Not because of a heat wave, of heavy rain, of a pollution peak, or of an election, not even because it’s time for the annual bath of the elephant-headed God. No. It’s because a crazy fanatic, self-proclaimed God, is going on trial for rape. So why close the schools? Because his fans are protesting mind you! He was found guilty on Friday of two rapes – and the riots following the news have caused the death of 30 to 40 people – and he is expecting his sentence today.

This 50 year old man, Ram Rahim, is the head of a sect, Dera Sacha Sauda, based in Haryana and especially present in the North (Haryana, Punjab and Delhi) – it claims to have 60 million followers. People have been blaming him for his poor sense of style and love of jewels which earned him the nickname of “guru of bling”. But most importantly, in addition to dozens of rapes, he might be responsible for the assassination of a journalist who investigated it in 2002, and the castration of 400 of his advisers. On the other hand, his sect runs hospitals and schools, and takes care of supporting his fans living in poverty. Which perhaps explains why even his female groupies are still defending him.

This country is a little bit crazy!

But you could argue that Madona also has fans who idolize her and would be ready to die for her, so why not worship big fat hairy guys??

Here are some other living gurus who are superstars in India but also outside:

Baba Ramdev – A yoga master who launched the brand of so-called Ayurvedic consumer products Patanjali (successfully marketed as cheap but quality stuff), an empire that today has a turnover of more than $1.6 billion.

Amma (‘mother’) or Mata Amritanandamayi – The Saint who heals people by hugging them. Make love not war – even though her hugs are nothing sexual. Her fortune is estimated at close to $3 billion (see NYTimes article).

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar (not to be confused with the musician) – Known for his philosophy of Art of Living, he is believed to have 300 million followers in 151 countries. His fortune is estimated at nearly $2 billion.

Bapuji or Asaram Bapu – I had actually never heard of him before (and neither had I head of Ram Rahim) but apparently he is one of the wealthiest, and controversial gurus in India. He has been in jail since 2013 for rape, still awaiting trial.

Sathya Sai Baba – The guru to the supposedly magical powers died in 2011. He was also accused of rape to several times, without having ever been judged.

It should therefore be noted that: Hinduism is a fertile ground for the worship of gurus; most of them also have trouble with sexuality – possibly due to the fact that they often advocate celibacy, and are in fact unable to resist their urges (but it will be the subject of another article); and the Prime Minister, Modi, often scratches their backs.

No one knew what to expect about Modi's visit in France last week. Well, it seems it was love at first sight!

About this habit of men holding hands in India: http://www.indiandacoit.com/archive/2013/10/14/why-do-ind...

My father pointed out the other day “Did you see that? Trump has not put India on his list of banned countries for visa! To what I replied that he had obviously not yet done the maths and I would like to be there when he realises that there is the equivalent of one third of the American population of Muslims in India. Trump wanted to stop terrorists coming from Muslim-majority countries – except that none of the 7 countries has perpetrated any terrorist act against the United States in the past 15 years (since Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Afghanistan etc. are not part of this list) (source). There is undeniably an imbroglio between Islam and terrorism, and at the highest level.

A few days later, I was commenting on this discussion with my Indian colleagues. Because I have been thinking that Modi and Trump could be good pals. After all I am pretty sure that the Indian Prime Minister (quite a Hindu extremist) would love to have his wall also, between the India and Pakistan! And he also likes to ban stuff, no more beef, no more porn, no more old notes, no more this, no more that. This led my colleague to conclude that to be re-elected, he would really have to do something “for the people”. And me (naively): “Is it so? Like building houses?” Mr. (Modi) Clean has built 25 million toilets in 2 years, to eradicate open defecation in public (source); so building houses must be good for the people? But no, what the people want is not toilet or houses, it is “the war declared to Pakistan, even nuking them would be better”.  

The same evening, after a long day of work, my nanny, well my son’s nanny really, decided to give me her opinion on terrorism. I must say I was listening with only one ear. But I know she resents terrorists because she’s afraid that due to the recent events she won’t get a tourist visa to go work in the United States, after 10 years of waiting for a job offer she just finally got. I was hearing some words: “terrorists, bike, young children, mattresses”. As I was not reacting, she went to get some newspaper clipping and she waved it under my nose: “No, but can you believe that, how do they dare enrolling young children in these terrorist activities?”

- “But, Helen, these people, they are fleeing terrorism it!” (She had obviously missed reading the legend).

- “Really??? Are you sure? But they look like terrorists don’t they?”

- “But Helen! All Muslims are not terrorists...!”

Helen wrapped up article, not really convinced.

The people have spoken... ;(