Indian Samurai इंडियन सामुराई

 “The Economist’s Big Mac index is based on the theory of purchasing-power parity: that, in the long run, exchange rates should adjust to equal the price of a basket of goods and services in different countries. Our basket consists of one McDonald’s Big Mac, and we’ve compared it with the average price in America, $4.20. According to our burgernomics, the Swiss franc is 62% overvalued: the exchange rate that would equalise the price of a Swiss Big Mac with an American one is 1.55 francs to the dollar; the actual exchange rate is only 0.96. The cheapest burger is found in India, where it costs just $1.62. Big Macs aren’t sold in India, so we’ve taken the price of a Mac Maharaja, made with chicken instead of beef.“

 I personally find it a bit surprising since I eat lunch everyday for 60 rupees (about $1.14) and I have rice, vegetable, dal (lens soup) and 4 chapatis (bread).

 And when I get a Filet-o-Fish meal it costs me 250 rupees…

  Source: http://www.economist.com/blogs/graphicdetail/2012/01/dail...

While the world is watching, the other clown becoming president of the United States, the Indian Prime Minister continues with his hobby of banning things. After banning beef meat almost everywhere, porn sites etc., he created the surprise yesterday... by banning 500 and 1000 rupee notes. With immediate effect (well the announcement took place around 8 p.m. and took effect at midnight), it was orchestrated masterfully. Basically, it means that now you can pay cash only with bills of 100 rupees (a little less than €1.5). Knowing that the India is a ‘cash economy’ (almost everything is done in cash) it’s going to be a little tough to adjust.

The intention is laudable though: putting an end to the ‘black economy’, fake currency and corruption. This plan has the merit of being ambitious! Apparently, it was the third (surprise) phase of Modi’s strategy, the first one being to encourage everyone to open a bank account (since August 2014, 254.5 million accounts have been opened, half of them in the rural sector*) and the second one to encourage all those who have black money to come clean**. (In fact the plan had in 8 steps*, I just simplified.)

In any case, this is going to bring up some change!

Here are the next steps summed-up:

And in more details (for instance what can tourists or people living abroad and holding cash can do): RBI_ Your questions answered by the RBI _ What to do with 500 and 1000 notes.pdf - source.

 * Source: http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/prime-minister-modi-surgical-strike-on-black-money-government-currency-revamp/1/805904.html

** The black money holders were given a chance from June to September to come clean and declare their assets – and pay taxes on it, with a penalty of 45%. But less than a tenth of the estimated amounts of black money (7 000 billion rupees (about 6% of GDP)) have been disclosed.

We just saw why cows are considered as sacred in India; and the advantage of being a God is that you can do what you want when you want where you want... So if a cow wants to be where it is, well it just stays here!

We have the right to blow their ears by honking like mad but not to touch them... Talking of ears, I have a feeling that bovines have not a very developed hearing... Coupled with an overdeveloped nonchalance and you have it… huge traffic jams!

But in the first place, why are they in the streets? 

You can find the cows that belong to temples (they are sacred remember).

But most of them belong to ‘urban farmers’ who provide the daily fresh milk Indians are fond of (because of habit, taste and cost).

And why do their owners leave them in the streets? Because it reduces their food budget! On the one hand they eat garbage (organic waste and not so organic (a downward slide of modernization)) and on the other hand they get fed by people (accomplishing the good deed of feeding a God!).) They gather them for milking...

One might wonder why we see less she-buffaloes roaming around on their own (whereas they are also in the cities where you can see them walking in herds)? They would be dumber than cows and have more difficulties finding their shelter and master...

And then there are the old cows. Which are of no more use. And as it is forbidden to euthanize them, their owners prefer to abandon them in the streets. In addition to this legal explanation, there is also a religious dimension: “Higher castes consider the body of the dead cow polluting; if they do handle it, they must go through a rite of purification.”*

What happens to them then? The out-casts (lower than the low castes), the Untouchables, are called to the rescue to haul away the carcass from which they will take the meat and skin to make leather... 

* http://sociology101.net/readings/Indias-sacred-cow.pdf

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/from-city-street-to-steakhouse-inside-indias-bullish-beef-market/article9103361/

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/how-indias-sacred-cows-are-beaten-abused-and-poisoned-to-make-leather-for-high-street-shops-724696.html

My father pointed out the other day “Did you see that? Trump has not put India on his list of banned countries for visa! To what I replied that he had obviously not yet done the maths and I would like to be there when he realises that there is the equivalent of one third of the American population of Muslims in India. Trump wanted to stop terrorists coming from Muslim-majority countries – except that none of the 7 countries has perpetrated any terrorist act against the United States in the past 15 years (since Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Afghanistan etc. are not part of this list) (source). There is undeniably an imbroglio between Islam and terrorism, and at the highest level.

A few days later, I was commenting on this discussion with my Indian colleagues. Because I have been thinking that Modi and Trump could be good pals. After all I am pretty sure that the Indian Prime Minister (quite a Hindu extremist) would love to have his wall also, between the India and Pakistan! And he also likes to ban stuff, no more beef, no more porn, no more old notes, no more this, no more that. This led my colleague to conclude that to be re-elected, he would really have to do something “for the people”. And me (naively): “Is it so? Like building houses?” Mr. (Modi) Clean has built 25 million toilets in 2 years, to eradicate open defecation in public (source); so building houses must be good for the people? But no, what the people want is not toilet or houses, it is “the war declared to Pakistan, even nuking them would be better”.  

The same evening, after a long day of work, my nanny, well my son’s nanny really, decided to give me her opinion on terrorism. I must say I was listening with only one ear. But I know she resents terrorists because she’s afraid that due to the recent events she won’t get a tourist visa to go work in the United States, after 10 years of waiting for a job offer she just finally got. I was hearing some words: “terrorists, bike, young children, mattresses”. As I was not reacting, she went to get some newspaper clipping and she waved it under my nose: “No, but can you believe that, how do they dare enrolling young children in these terrorist activities?”

- “But, Helen, these people, they are fleeing terrorism it!” (She had obviously missed reading the legend).

- “Really??? Are you sure? But they look like terrorists don’t they?”

- “But Helen! All Muslims are not terrorists...!”

Helen wrapped up article, not really convinced.

The people have spoken... ;(

About the things that strike me whenever I come home, and that I then forget...

After the first minutes of confusion (especially after a night on the plane), I breathe. I am home. No need of a house, a "home", just the sense of "belonging", of being among people like me. A feeling to be enjoyed in silence. Because as soon as I open my mouth, my illusions vanish. My experience as an expatriate visiting my country makes me someone different, with other references. Therefore I quickly feel lost in conversations. And I never stay long enough to find my place with my people.

But as long as I don’t have to open my mouth, what a relief to be in France! To no longer be a circus freak being photographed or solicited non-stop! *

Beyond these considerations, there are a few things that impressed me during my recent trip to France:

1.     No one will help you with your luggage, and  there is no ramp nowhere (hotels, metro, train etc.). Be healthy, eat fruits and vegetables and then break you back!

2.     In each train there is the bitter woman that as soon as a person answers their cellphone will show the sticker "silence" to her husband grimbling that “it is written that phones are forbidden, people are unbelievable, no education, go Darling, go tell her to switch it off."

3.     It's beautiful, it's clean, it’s quiet. The climate allows you to breathe.

France - June 2012

4.     Men are beautiful. Okay not all of them. But it is still a delight for the eyes, globally. And then police men... Ah police men... We are far from the Indian policemen who impress people just for their moustache, fat belly, pants up to the chin, and bamboo stick!

5.     Let’s talk about pharmacies. Caves of Ali Baba! Where it is good to hang around between ultra-hydrating creams (just hydrating lotions are passé), anti-blister bandages and other sweet things. And then the supermarkets. This time, I only went for an order: baking chocolate. That's all. And I left with six kilos of food, at least! Madeleines, grenadine, sausage, peppermill, wine, and still I could not take yoghurts. Temple of consumption mayby but temple above all for me who is twenty kilometers away by rickshaw by 45 degrees to find one-thousandth of those goods.

6.     Speaking of consumption, a piece of beef accompanied by a glass of red wine, and good company, in the backyard of a restaurant in Nîmes took me too heaven. Did I find it so picturesque because it is so rare now?

7.     I was asked a number of times during this stay, and countless times during the last six years, why it is difficult to live and work in India. And whenever I am in my natural environment, I can’t remember. It is already so far away! In general, twenty-four hours on the Indian soil suffice to refresh my memory. I have therefore decided to take notes from now on!

* I often wonder how "extraordinary" people live their difference. Any time I meet one of them, I ask the question. Children of migrants for example, or giants, etc.

My (French) blog was elected blog of the month on ExpatBlog. Thank you!!

Below is the translation of the interview I did for them...

"I am 30 years old and originally from Paris. 

How did you get the idea of settling in India? 

At the end of my studies (business school), I went travelling in South America and decided to go work there. I looked for a job but couldn’t find any. And then I got an opportunity in India and since I had nothing else, I thought why not... 

Since how long have you been there? Is this the first time that you live far away from home? 

I have been in India for more than 6 years. 

I left home when I was 20 to go study in Reims then went for Erasmus in Spain. 

How did you settle down? 

All went well. I didn't have any expectation regarding India since I had not planned to go there. I was a bit lost at the beginning: I had no clue about what was happening (because of the language, and the fact that in India everything always happens at the last minute so the plans keep on changing). 

Are Indians friendly? 

It is the least we can say! 

What surprised you the most in Mumbai / in India? 

The mess (or to be more politically correct the anarchy ;) ). A lot of stuff is happening everywhere all the time, passing vehicles going in all directions, people who squizzent queues, stalls everywhere. It gives an impression of organized brothel (or not). 

What are the most striking differences with France, your country of origin? 

The concept of efficiency – Indians work somehow more slowly, don’t mind spending extra time in the AC in the office, are less organized. 

The logic: the French logic is Cartesian. I cannot describe the Indian logic –they do have one! – but it is different. 

Is there anything that you have been missing since you have moved to Mumbai? 

I overcame the craving for beef and cheese and some other products (which can be found but it is not easy easy). So in terms of food I’m good. 

I go back to France 3-4 times a year so I also manage being far with my family and friends. 

What I really miss is silence (or the absence of noise)… 

The life of an expat in Mumbai, what does it look like? 

It looks like a lot of work! 

My typical day looks like a 20 minutes rickshaw ride through a slum and then I go from one meeting to another. One butter chicken and a naan ordered for lunch at the office. I drink a Coke on the office terrace when I need a break (with sea view). I work up to 8 PM then I go for happy hour on the terrace of the Novotel with a colleague (sea view again). 

And Sundays at the pool or at the spa. 

That is when I'm not on a business trip or roaming around the India for fun! 

What made you feel like writing this blog? 

I often say that I started to write for my family and friends (the day I landed) and I soon realized that many people but my family and friends were reading it! So I continued. 

Actually I think that I write it for myself. 

Have you ever met anybody thanks to your blog? 

Many actually! Physically and by mail. 

I get a lot of emails for travel tips, installation, job offers and even translations of French proverb to Hindi... 

What advice would you give to those who would like to go live in Mumbai / in India? 

Be patient... There is a saying that says that in India if you have patience you will lose it and if you are not patient you will become. In fact it’s like a vicious circle... India is a place that you discover, uncover, bit by bit every day. You have to let it come to you, to stop trying to understand, analyse, everything. And the most frustrating is that when you start feeling you comfortable, you can't explain why!