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You know you have been in India for too long when…

… you realise you speak English like them (and you didn’t even know it was not ‘proper’ English!).

If you use 3 or more of the expressions daily, then that’s it, you are one of them (us?? :-) ):

  1. ‘I will come at 4 only’ – Ending your sentence with ‘only’ without a reason really.
  2. 'Passing out' of school
  3. 'Kindly revert' – You reply or answer but not revert which means "to return to a former state".
  4. 'It happened years back' – Instead of years ago.
  5. 'Kindly do the needful' – Needful is an adjective, not a noun.
  6. 'Can we discuss about this?' – You discuss this, not about this.
  7. 'Let’s order for food' – You order food, not for food.
  8. 'Do one thing' – When someone approaches you with a query, and your reply begins with the phrase "do one thing”, it is an Indianism. It is only understood in India. It is not proper English. Like “My computer keeps getting hung.” And “Do one thing. Clear your history. Delete your cookies. Defrag your hardrive. Run a virus check. Restart your computer... ”
  9. ‘I can’t talk right now, I’m out of station.’ – extremely outdated.
  10. 'Prepone' – Because the opposite of postpone just has to be prepone, right? But in English you would “bring a meeting forward”. 



Another post on Indian-English: 


The rock 'n roll crib - Part 3

BUT NO!!! Once your dear husband has found the crib of his dreams, he is not going to compromise for second-class options: “don’t you think this crib is gliding a little too fast? and it’s annoying, you can’t dismantle it easily no? and it will not even last for a year!”. Back to square one...

It briefly crosses our minds to get the mini-crib done locally. Indians are masters of it. But for questions of security and patience, we quickly drop the idea. On top of that our recent experiences in this field have not been conclusive, to say the least (cf his tailor-made wedding suit and alliance he never wore (not even on the wedding day)).

This is when your dear husband finds the website that specializes in getting stuff from the US (transportation and customs). Cost: at least the price of what you are buying. But anyway we were ready to spend that much from the beginning – and when you buy from Mother Care in India, it is much more expensive than in England. Since he is at it he buys a mattress on this site, because who says unique crib says unique size of mattress (not found in India nor in France). And there, incredible but true, in one week the crib was in our living room! And assembled in less than ten minutes! And meeting the expectations of the dear husband! (this was far from given) And he got to try the do-it-yourself American-style (he could build his baby’s bed!!) Pfffiou... India,baby,craddle,crib,mini-crib

Let’s see now what use we will make of our beautiful cradle and how we will manage sleep with Junior! Because it is very easy to talk, we don’t know what we will really do!! So we will just do our best… And hope that the baby will not suffer from a “lack of love”, or “sense of insecurity” if he/she does not sleep with the mother for at least twelve months (after all I and my brothers are quite balanced despite sleeping methods judged barbaric)! 

The full story here: PDF


The rock 'n roll crib - Part 2

No problem, only solution! You call your Indian friend on holidays in Los Angeles; you have THE mini-crib delivered to her by Amazon (and you get ready to put the same amount in the luggage supplement as you have put in the cradle)! And just before making the transfer on the airline website, you ask her to take measurements, just to be sure... And boom, it is just above the maximum oversized dimensions... You still want to check if the airline would not adjust for a few inches here and there but obviously it’s midnight and the offices in India are closed. So your friend, some 15 time zones away, offers to call them in the US, only to be redirected to... a call center in India. Of course. In short, the Indian staff repeats word for word what is written on the site, and the parcel is returned to the sender. As for us, we go back to our local solutions.

Which boil down to two Mother Care cribs, 0-6 months (and the Indian rocking ones which are just ugly, either in plastic or metal). We visit the store for the first time – we are now less than two months away from delivery, it is never too late! – to see the last piece on sale. Then we visit a British friend in one of the most beautiful towers in Mumbai to check out the other model that she is selling as second hand. Both options seem acceptable to me – let’s make a decision, how much energy can we spend for a bed??