Clichés about the French (or people who lived in France)
Signs You’re French At Heart
“Whether you’ve lived there, studied there, or recently watched the Family Guy episode where Lois goes to Paris. Let’s face it, we all want to be Français.”
1. You drink entirely too much red wine because its “cheaper than water.”
2. You’ve watched Jules et Jim and/or 400 Coups in its entirety on youtube.
3. You’re over cupcakes, and have been ever since you tasted a macaron.
4. Your César-watching parties are attended primarily by you and your cat Pierre.
5. You still regularly reference the French Revolution when discussing politics.
6. Drinking coffee on the go is personally offensive.
7. You pronounce “Le Pain Quotidien” the RIGHT way and your friends are really fucking annoyed every time.
8. Verb conjugations get stuck in your head instead of Miley Cyrus songs.
9. You give unsolicited advice to French tourists you overhear on the subway just so you can break out your best Fraccent.
10. You knew Vincent Cassel way before he finger banged Natalie Portman on Black Swan.
11. Macaroni and Brie sounds like a good idea.
12. Netflix suggests “Mind Bending, Depressing, Existential Foreign Films” to you on a nightly basis.
13. Biking is best in high heels and dress.
14. You WILL NOT choose between Lea Seydoux and Melanie Laurent.
15. Les Miserables was a book first, then a musical, THEN a movie.
16. You watch your favorite TV shows with French subtitles, just for funsies.
17. July 4th is significant because it means only 10 more days until Bastille Day!
18. Your attempt at a classic bob haircut just made you look like an aging Bon Jovi.
19. A cigarette counts as lunch, RIGHT?!
20. You pretend that eyesore cell phone tower was left over from the 1889 World’s Fair.
21. Low carb, shmow carb.