Indian Samurai इंडियन सामुराई

Some fun in the ‘Back room’ of Immigration at Chicago airport – where only privileged people (like me) suspected of coming to stay illegally are asked to visit.

I was sitting there, waiting for my turn (or for officers to wake up as I was apparently the first one at 6 AM), when a couple of elderly Indians came in.

An officer followed, very jovial, which is very much unusual in the ‘back room’. Apparently, there was something funny going on:

• Officer: Hey, I wanna know, I’m just curious, but what did you do to be arrested for nuisance?
• Indian oldy: Reneumeuleu (inaudible mumbling, language indistinct)
• Officer: No, no, I just want to know, don’t stress!
• Indian oldy: Reneumeuleu (inaudible mumbling, language indistinct)
• Officer (losing the smile): Okay, listen, you have been in the US for 4 years and you don’t speak English?? No?? Police? Arrested? POLIIIIIICE???
• Indian oldy: Reneumeuleu (inaudible mumbling, language indistinct)
• Officer: Oh, so you just dumped waste?
• Indian oldy: Reneumeuleu (inaudible mumbling, language indistinct)

Me: Hahaha, here you go my dear fellow Indians! Maybe India should also fine people for littering?? It could even be more profitable than increasing income tax! (Ok but then there should be proper management of waste collection and disposition, and they are not there yet…)

(Which is all a bit of hypocrite from me, since I got scolded very bad by my favorite Indian for throwing orange peel through the window in Ireland, completely backed up by my mother.)

A cop shopping for pirated DVDs in the street in Churchgate, Mumbai.

I may be going havoc these days but I still don’t smoke nor drink and drive – someone must have sung lullabies to me as a baby for these to be so printed in my brain.

Anyways…

The other night my friend tried to convince me to take my car for Friday night (LIT night if you remember) since “it was not too far…”. My friends told me they were impressed with my “self-control” since the other night I stopped after 2 glasses of wine and had food and water before driving back. I think I gave them a shock when I explained that I would be okay going into a wall with my car but would find it difficult to live with the death of someone else on my shoulders…

Accordingly last Friday I took a taxi. Now the guy was a young brat, trying to show off, driving like mad, talking on the phone, singing, all that jazz… One has to wonder what is safer?? Him or drunk me driving?? Mmmmhhh not sure… Like this one time I was going to the airport. The driver managed fine in the traffic but once we arrived on the highway, which was relatively empty, he suddenly broke. He had dozed off. And he kept dozing off like 5 times in the next 10 minutes, like if he had some syndrome. And this is so common…

So talking of women, drinking and driving, there is this article. So for instance in Chandigarh in 2012 they arrested only 1 woman for drinking and driving against 3 000 men. One could see women going out and having fun as a good thing, but obviously not the Hindustan Times. One woman is spotted puking and the world as we know it is coming to an end… Men are in for surprises in this country…

Firstly not so many women are allowed out of the house on their own at night, not many drive, not many drink and anyways, only female constables can check them out and they also don’t come out at night! Still, drinking and driving is not a good idea. Evil tongues might say that it would be even worse with women driving…

To finish I’d like to quote the article : “The police asking drivers to roll down the windows before sticking their neck in to sniff liquor is a common sight, a practice they find difficult to follow when it comes to women drivers.” This is hilarious!!

I’m waiting for the day a cop tries to sniff me!!