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Porn or no porn??

India,sex,sexpert,sex education,porn ban,porn,child porn,abuse,child abuse

After a smooth start (with the ban of the movie Fifty Shades of Grey) in March, the Indian Government geared up, banning porn altogether. At least online porn. The intention was good – fighting against child pornography – but the execution was, well, not up to the mark, to say the least. Without consulting anybody, overnight, they black-listed 857 sites, some have no sexual content at all; and on top of it 857 is nothing compared to the thousands of X-sites live. As on today, the ban is more or less lifted: the order has been given but it is not clear...

When you read (source) that more than 50% of the children in India are victims of sexual abuse – a small 223 million kids mind you – (and half of them molested by some family member), you get to think that the Government is only attacking the emerged part of the iceberg by targeting child porn and not enforcing sex education programs in schools...

But everything is not completely black! There are people like me who speak but do nothing, others who do not speak and do nothing and the other ones... For instance let’s take Kranti, an NGO that works with the children of Kamathipura, Mumbai 'red light district', and helps Kamathipura daughters to discover see other horizons: Sheetal, Pinky and Shweta all went to the United States, one to study drums, the other for an Art summer camp and the last one to train on psychology. (source) Some of them come back and become activist in sex education...

And then there is the Sexpert, writing in Mumbai Mirror newspaper. Don’t laugh! He also brings his stone to the wall of knowledge! Dr Watsa, a 91 fellow, has been a columnist for more than 50 years, and very recently published a book, It's Normal... India,sex,sexpert,sex education,porn ban,porn,child porn,abuse,child abuseHaving started by giving medical advice in women's magazines, he began to receive letters from women of remote areas, abused by uncles and worried they would not be able to marry without an intact hymen.

In addition to his column who makes you laugh while educating, and which brought upon his author and publisher censorship, threats etc, he worked for the Family Planning Association of India (FPAI) and the Council of Sex Education and Parenthood International (CSEPI). For the porn is a problem, but not for the same reasons as the Government (which think it ‘gives ideas’). Because men would devote more time watching it than doing their wives whose frustration would eventually lead to divorce. (Source; PDF)

Some Sexpert pearls for the road:

  •  Q: Two days ago, I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend. To prevent pregnancy, we bought an i-Pill [emergency contraceptive] But in the heat of the moment I popped it instead of her. Can it cause any complications for me?
  • A: Next time round please use a condom and make sure you don't swallow that too.
  • Q (a very common one): Will my penis shrink from repeated masturbation.
  • A: You talk a lot, does your tongue shrink?
  • Q (about female masturbation, recently emerging questions showing women emancipation): My friend thinks that her breasts are getting larger because of masturbation. Is this possible?
  • A: No. Does she think her clitoris is an air pump?
  • Q: I have a small penis and I can't seem to satisfy my girlfriend. My astrologer has advised me to pull it every day for 15 minutes while reciting a shloka [prayer]. I have been doing this for a month but it hasn't helped. What should I do?
  • A: If he was right, most men would have a penis hitting their knees. God doesn't help gullible, foolish men. Go visit a sexpert instead who can teach you the art of making love.

And a small satirical video on sex education in schools in India to conclude!




Human or not human, that is the question

In India, whether you are a tourist or a local, you will be most likely hoping in and out of taxis and / or rickshaws ("tuktuk" for the tourists, "auto" for the others) a lot. It's cheap, they are everywhere, you avoid the hassle of getting a parking space or struggling to find your way around. There is no debate, it is damm convenient. Not necessarily good for the back but useful. THE problem is that taxi or rickshaw drivers are often perceived as thieves. They refuse to start the meter, they forget to reset it, they take you for a merry-go-round around the city:  they have a bad reputation. Moreover it is almost only in Mumbai that they actually agree to put the meter on, in other places they just won’t, sometimes find it easier to just not have a meter at all… In such cases, you are supposed to know the distance and the approximate fare, and the journey starts with a bargaining session.              

This exercise can prove very frustrating, irritating, to the point that sometimes you may decide to actually just not step out so that you won’t have to go through these discussions. For all these reasons, we tend to treat the drivers of such vehicles as subhuman, machines (extension of their manoeuvre stick), from whom we expect nothing but a fight (about the way to take or the amount to pay) and a good bone-shaking ride. Of the lot, taxi drivers are considered the most rogue, hence the exponential growth of radio taxis (just for the pleasure of not having to argue).     

In the daily routine of rickshaw-work-sleep, it's like in the French subway: not yet fully awake, you are half sleeping half sulking on the back bench of the auto. The driver, that you barely looked at before sitting (no need to, he’s a machine anyway), doesn’t ask you the questions he usually showers the tourists with (“Where do you come from? What do you do? Do you like India?”). With the Indian code of politeness, you can easily skip the Western ‘courtesies’: no need to say hello or please, or thank you, let alone smile. Provide the address in the beginning and say "baas" (stop) when you reach your destination, and rock gently your head from side to side as a thanking gesture, that will be enough.            

The foreigner usually makes it a point of honor not to leave a tip, as the drivers are already robbing him. He may therefore lose quite a bit of time (forgetting at his convenience that time is money) for a rupee or two. But it is a question of PRIN-CI-PLE. And the foreigner will blame all his fellow whitemen who do not follow his PRIN-CI-PLE, giving 'bad habits' to Indian drivers, instilling the idea that foreigners are walking dollars and can be easily extorted more money than necessary. It is therefore all the more important to implement this PRIN-CI-PLE strictly.

I was like that for quite some time. The kind of scenes I have made for five rupees! And then one day I had enough, I started again to say “thank you” to the drivers, and to round up (well, except in cases where they are assholes for one reason or another), or even to smile ... And if I'm not too tired, I even try some of my Hindi! More often in taxis because the trips are usually longer than in rickshaws. And I quite often hear crazy stories!    

That's why I wanted to share this note 'Humans of Mumbai'. I discovered this group one day I was walking with Junior in the baby carrier; they wanted to interview me but I was unfortunately having a very bad day and I declined. Anyway, I read with pleasure their daily notes that re-humanize a bit everyone ... Including drivers !!


Humans of Mumbai.jpg  


Having a filthy day?

After three months away…

No I have not disappeared! I had thought (very naively) that I would have some time to “do my things” doing my maternity leave, like writing. But it went the other way around!!

And like if it was not enough to be haggard, drunk of fatigue, full of playful hormones (they say it is normal when you breastfeed), with a useless brain (not even capable to remember what I have done with a bottle of water I picked up two minutes ago – oh well, I put it in the cupboard, of course!), I got back to work, in a not-so-easy environment… And started yoga again (from 6 to 7 (AM!!))… But I am a Samurai, I can do it!!

My resolution of this getting-back-to-‘normal’-life is thus to start blogging again, posting every Monday instead of every other day…

And to start with, a video to remind us that some Indians don’t have it easy every day…